uhhhhh it’s cool I still hv this, I’m glad I never deleted this, I’m glad I was ever here thru this

tonight I read back to posts from years ago n everything I wrote makes me cringe n there were so many harmful faucets in my thinking but! this is Growth this is Humanhood!

:) :) going to me first racialised students’ collective meeting this month

and i rmb this time last yr i always said i was nvr gna get married .i sorta just wanted to be with somene for a v long time. but now i am w someone who calls me his first love who is so good to me who cries when he hurts me n listens ot me n tries to win me big stuffed animals at cne n talks abt our life together down the road n talks abt our kids n always says he understands where i am coming from even when it is so opposite from where he is comin frm,n teaches me how to bike, n his family calls me family n he makes me happy n loves me  unconditionally n intensely and gently and honeslty makes me feel like i cant belive i have been missing out on something this good for a very long time n even make me say corny stuff like this.

i rmb smtime last yr i came to a conclusion to always run from ppl who tell u they are crazy abt u,bc it is indicative of smth dangerous?

but now i think smeone is crazy abt me but i am happy still and want to b here still n i think it is because i am crazy abt him too.

i am wondering if there is any evil in me? 

this seems unneeded and unwarranted to point out but lately i have been accidentally calling people and inanimate objects Elizabeth. i think about u all the time. there was never any evil in u.